


Open Secrets

by quellthefire



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Brakebills (The Magicians), Friendship/Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Masturbation, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 05:39:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17074421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quellthefire/pseuds/quellthefire
Summary: “Quentin knew this was a bad idea. He knew that this would only make things more fucked up and complicated and devastating. He knew that there was no coming back from it, but he didn’t care. He wanted to kiss Eliot.“Quentin realizes that he's in love with Eliot but has no clue how to deal with it. Kady calls him on his bullshit and tells him to confess his feelings. Little do they know someone is listening in on their conversation...(Set before Brakebills South)





	Open Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> Writer's block is a bitch, so I tried writing from Q's perspective this time. I love writing Quentin's nervous stream of conciousness dialogue.
> 
> Alsooo, I have a tumblr, feel free to follow me at quellthefire. Though I'm not sure how active everyone is after the pornpacalypse that just went down.

Quentin knew this was a bad idea. He knew that this would only make things more fucked up and complicated and devastating. He knew that there was no coming back from it, but he didn’t care. He wanted to kiss Eliot. He’d wanted it since the day he’d met him, but he hadn’t known what those feelings were. Eliot was the first person to care about him at Brakebills, and he’d spent so many agonizing months trying to figure out why he’d craved Eliot’s attention so badly. 

"I like him,"Q said out loud to himself. "That’s the answer. I like Eliot. A lot. And I want to kiss him." He leaned back in his chair and groaned. 

They were halfway through his first semester at Brakebills and Quentin didn’t know what to do. It would be so much easier if it was someone like Penny that he was falling for. At least he’d have a chance of not running into him multiple times a day. Not to mention that Penny hated his guts. Why couldn’t he like someone who hated him? Then he’d at least have a chance at getting over it. 

Quentin had only liked one other person this deeply, and it had taken him years to get over her. Julia. He didn’t want him and Eliot to end up like they were. He needed Eliot’s friendship more than anything. He needed Eliot. That was non-negotiable. 

Quentin rubbed his hands against his eyes and groaned again. He couldn’t avoid Eliot, so he had to find some way to cope, some way to not completely lose it when they were together. This was going to suck. A lot. 

He was contemplating what his options were when suddenly he heard footsteps clomping down the stairs and frantically straightened up in the plush chair. There was a mass of dark curly hair and then Kady was peering at him from the bottom step. 

Q breathed a sigh of relief and nervously shoved his hair behind his ears. She grinned with curiosity in her expression and said, “You look startled to see me.” 

“I-i thought you were someone else for a second. But you’re you! And that’s great, it’s great that you’re you!” Quentin cringed a little at how awkward he was being. Well, more awkward than usual.

Kady laughed and walked to sit across from him in the living room. “C’mon, what’s going on? You’re extra twitchy today.” 

He slumped his shoulders and let his hair fall in front of his face, “I’m fine, it’s fine. Things are-are fine.” She playfully kicked his chair and made herself comfortable. “I don’t know what’s going on, but you’re clearly not fine. Talk, Q.” 

This was weird. He and Kady weren’t on bad terms, but they hardly knew each other. Plus there was the whole Penny thing. She was hooking up with Penny, and Penny couldn’t stand him. They’d not spoken much since they both moved into the Physical Kids cottage. But, she seemed like someone who’d keep information to herself and wouldn’t go blathering to all the other students. And he knew that she’d call him out if he tried to bullshit his way through an answer. It was easier to just be honest. And maybe it’d help him figure out a plan?

He took a shuddering breath and steeled himself. “So, say I am currently trying to process some stuff that’s only recently come to my attention, and that stuff is something that’s really exciting but also kind of absolutely terrifying and mortifying?” He looked up to see her nod once in confusion. “And say that stuff, involves another person? Feelings for that person, specifically. And those feelings are pretty much guaranteed to ruin everything?”

She grinned at him and let out a chuckle. “You keep phrasing everything like a question, but what’s the question?” 

He huffed a little and quietly uttered, “I want to kiss Eliot.” 

“Uhm, okay, wow. Still not a question, Q.”

Quentin glared at her and straightened his posture. “Just how badly would me kissing Eliot fuck up our friendship?” 

Kady laughed and nudged him with her shoe. “I mean, I think you’d be a whole lot more than friends at that point.” She shook her head ruefully and curls tumbled from behind her ear. “But Q, you’re missing the point. That boy has been pining for you since day one.”

Quentin sputtered and put his hands out in disbelief. He tried to speak but found his voice suddenly hoarse. He cleared his throat. “No way, I mean at first I thought he and Margo were together, but I realized they’re just really weirdly close, like really really close. It’s super weird right?”

Kady kicked him again and he shut up. “Dude, you gotta chill out for a second. Yeah he and Margo have some fucked-up codependent thing going on, but Eliot is clearly into you. I’m sure he doesn’t think he has a shot with you. I think we all just assumed you were into Alice. I honestly never realized you liked guys.”

Quentin paled a little and muttered something about things with Alice being a lost cause. Kady stared at him unblinkingly and he continued, “I guess I just wanted things to be simple. It seemed like falling in love with Alice would be the easier path. But I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I-i guess I knew deep down that no one could replace him. Besides,” he admitted, “Eliot’s pretty much my best friend here, and those have been hard to come by in my life. I don’t want to completely ruin that. I already lost one of my best friends when I came here.” 

“Talk to him, Q. I know that’s not going to be easy, but it’s the only way to sort this out.”

Quentin glared at her and rolled his eyes, “Yeah, because you’re so good at talking to Penny about how you feel about him.” 

Kady’s cheeks flushed a little, and then she narrowed her eyes. “I’m not saying I’m perfect at any of this. I’ll probably find a way to fuck things up before I let myself get too close to him. But at least I had the guts to pursue what I wanted. Can you say the same, Quentin?” 

Quentin stared at her for a moment too long, then stood up and started adjusting his shirt. “Fine. I’ll figure out a way to tell him. For the record you suck... But thank you.” 

Kady did a half-bow from her chair then kicked her feet up on the one he’d been sitting on. 

As Quentin trudged upstairs to his room, she called out, “Talk to him!” He only offered a dismissive wave in response. 

••••••••••••••••••••

Eliot had gotten frustrated with the project for his Botany class and decided to raid the fridge for wine. He needed to clear his head. Maybe that moscato he’d been saving would do the trick? 

He was about to round the corner into the living room when he heard Quentin’s voice. 

"I like him. That’s the answer. I like Eliot. A lot. And I want to kiss him."

Eliot’s breath caught and he froze in place. He knew he shouldn’t be listening in, but how could he not? He’d never been very good at not prying when things involved him. And this was a motherfucking revelation. 

Q wanted him. Him. Not Alice, not that Julia girl he’d been moping about when he first got here. Him. It felt unreal. Like if he’d suddenly been thrust into a fantasy world where animals could talk or something. Quentin wanted to kiss him. 

Eliot listened intently as Kady accidentally interrupted Quentin’s realization. His heart was beating like crazy now, and he felt guilty for invading their private conversation. But fuck. Quentin liked him. He could feel a hot pressure rising inside himself as he leaned against the wall that hid him. 

This was too much to process at once. 

He heard Quentin’s uneasy tone as Kady chastised him for being too afraid to admit his feelings. And then suddenly Quentin was on the other side of the wall, a mere foot away from Eliot as he made his way upstairs. He couldn’t hear if Q responded to Kady’s last remark, but Eliot’s heart was pounding so loudly he couldn’t focus on anything but trying to calm his breathing. 

Quentin liked him, Quentin wanted to kiss him. The mantra repeated in his head. Eliot wanted to do so much more than that with him. He could feel that pressure growing in his cock, desperate for some kind of release. His mind raced with thoughts of Quentin’s cock in his mouth. Quentin moaning as he teased him. How he’d taste and look and feel. How fucking amazing it would feel to thrust himself inside Quentin for the first time.

It was almost unbearable but Eliot couldn’t stop. Before he knew what he was doing, his hand had slipped into his pants and he’d started stroking himself. He felt the familiar sticky warmth of his pre-come. He could feel himself tense as he increased the pressure and had to force himself to keep quiet. He kept stroking faster, with a feverish intensity that he’d never felt before. 

He wanted to feel the stubble of Quentin’s cheeks as he kissed him. He wanted to fuck him and be fucked and luxuriate in the fact that something had finally gone right in his life for once. He wanted Quentin to love him more than anything. 

Eliot’s cock was straining from the tightness of his pants and knew he couldn’t hold back much longer. He was desperate for release. Hearing Quentin just now had made him greedy for more. Suddenly his hand was drenched in thick come as he felt the pressure deep inside him release. He swallowed the sounds he wanted to make for fear of being discovered. Eliot’s hand was shimmering with creamy fluid and he could feel the rigidness of his cock slowly easing. 

As his breath steadied he thought what Quentin had said. He sounded just as scared as Eliot about ruining their friendship. Somehow that made him feel better, to know Q was just as nervous as he was.

He felt grateful when he remembered that he was carrying a handkerchief, and cleaned himself up as best as he could. Eliot shoved the messy cloth into his pocket, and collected himself. 

After a few agonizing moments he decided to make his way upstairs. His room was just down the hall from Quentin’s, and he contemplated how to get Q’s attention without being obvious that he’d overheard the conversation. They had things to discuss, after all, and if those discussions led to Eliot spread out and naked on Quentin’s bed, all the better. 

Eliot slunk his way up the cottage stairs, eager to avoid Kady’s attention. 

“You missed a spot!” She called out with a grin. 

Eliot glanced down and saw that she was right. There was a glistening damp spot on the bottom of his shirt. He frowned and wiped at the stain as she chuckled and turned away from him. 

Apparently he hadn’t been as quiet as he thought he’d been...

**Author's Note:**

> The lines about Kady fucking things up before she let Penny in, and Eliot feeling like he was in a magical land with talking animals amused me too much to not keep them in. Half of my writing process has been entertaining myself with references to the book canon or what's to come in the show's plot. Hopefully you all find them as entertaining as I do.
> 
> -Quell


End file.
